BK Blog Post
Posted by Brian Tracy.
Brian Tracy is one of America's leading authorities on the development of human potential and personal effectiveness. He is the author of thirteen previous books, including the bestselling book Maximum Achievement.
Have you ever felt the need to help someone who has helped you in the past? This is known as the law of reciprocity. It is one of the many different persuasion techniques that you can use to influence others.
Keep reading to take a look at how it works and how to use it correctly.
Persuasion by reciprocation is based on the law of reciprocity. It’s considered by many to be the most powerful law of human nature. Basically, it states that,
“If you do something nice for me I’ll do something nice for you. I feel obligated to reciprocate.”
For example, if we go out to lunch and I pick up the bill, you almost always offer to pay for it next time. Next time we go out to lunch, you insist on paying for the bill.
There are different types of reciprocation which I will explain below.
Emotional reciprocation is where you make people feel good. Saying things like,
“Thank you, it’s a pleasure to meet you, I know how busy you are.”
“Thank you for your time.”
“This is a beautiful company or a great opportunity to speak to you.”
Whenever you say anything that causes people to feel better about themselves, they have a deep unconscious need to reciprocate.
Another type of reciprocation is called material or financial reciprocation. An example of this is when you do something physical for someone such as, helping them move or lending them your lawnmower, they want to pay you back by reciprocating in some way.
We have a deep psychological need to be even with others. If a person does something for you, we feel a need to get even by doing something nice in return.
The reverse is also true in that, if you do something that hurts others, they will feel the need to hurt you back as well, so be careful with that.
The starting point of the law of reciprocity is to do things for others. Something as simple as opening in the door for someone, or getting someone a cup of coffee is a very powerful technique that you can use to cause people to like you and to feel obligated to you.
The Socratic Method means to simply, ask a lot of questions. The more questions you ask of another person and listen closely to the answers, the more the person will like you and be more open to being influenced by you.
The more questions you ask during a negotiation and the more open you appear to see things from another person’s point of view. You’ll find that they will be more reasonable as well. They will follow the law of reciprocity.
Whenever there is a disagreement in a negotiation, where there is some pushback or disagreement, come back to it. Put off any part of the negotiation aside, keep going through the rest of the agreement and then later, when all things have settled, come back to the other issues.
It’s very easy to agree quickly. Even if you have no problems with the particular issue in the negotiation, go slowly through it. The slower you go, the more strength you will have later on when you come to issues that are of greater importance to you.
Pushing the fairness button in a negotiation can also give you leverage. Use the word “fair” over and over again. They have found that in television debates, especially in politics, that the politician who uses the word fair when they say things like,
“That’s not a fair interpretation.”
“That’s not a fair way to describe the situation.”
“People aren’t paying their fair share.”
The word fair triggers an emotional feeling to be even, that you should back off rather than be unfair to someone.
Remember how children are always saying, “That’s not fair! That’s not fair!” It’s because of how strong the word is.
In negotiating, always ask for something in return. If you don’t ask for something in return, soon those people will ask things from you and not reciprocate at all.
As a final point to remember, in negotiating you can pay almost any price for something if you can name the terms.
A great negotiator once said, “I’ll pay you $1,000 for that gold pen in your pocket, even though you only paid $250 for it, as long as I can name the terms.”
The terms were, every time I pass you on the street, in New York, on a Wednesday, I will give you $1 until the thousand dollars in paid off, with no interest.
Therefore, you can agree to a higher price as long as you can negotiate and agree to terms that are much more favorable to you.
What do you think about the Law of Reciprocity? Leave a comment below. Click the button below to download my FREE report of the 24 best closing techniques ever discovered. Thank you for reading my blog about the law of reciprocation and negotiation. I hope it helps you to negotiate better terms for yourself in all parts of you life.